Cornerstone Coaching

What have you chosen in your life that it’s time to change? – Chellie Campbell

In January 2011 I accepted a full time job that requires a lot of travel.  I love it. But talk about a change!  Needless to say, my coaching business, which I’ve thoroughly enjoyed for 7 ½ years, has had to take a back seat for now.  But it hasn’t gone away completely.

 While I am not able to accept on-going coaching clients, I am offering 1-day “Find Your Focus” Personal Retreats. Click here for details.  It’s intense, but effective, for those who are ready to make a change or design the next chapter in their life.

 Thank you for following my 90-second ezine which, due to time constraints, disappeared a year ago.  I do continue to monitor my business email and you can find me occasionally on Facebook.  So let’s keep in touch.

 Wishing you all the best in the New Year!

Lois

Lois@cornerstonecoaching.net

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With the holidays and end of the year upon us, we tend to put a lot of expectations on ourselves. I should bake and decorate three dozen cookies for the bake sale. I should send out all my holiday cards by the 15th. I should… (fill in the blank here with your own should thought).

As the list of shoulds expands, our stress level increases, and we leave no room for the joy of the season.

What if we could shift from should to could? I could bake and decorate three dozen cookies. All of a sudden I have a choice. I may decide this is a fun activity I really enjoy and I’ll make time for it. Or I may decide this year I have other priorities and let go of this project.

CHALLENGE: Think of your biggest holiday/end-of-the-year should. Where did it come from? If you re-framed it as a could, what possibilities open up? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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 ”So, what do you do?” How many times have you automatically asked that question when you meet someone for the first time?

It’s part of our culture but has also become a “dreaded question” among Boomers and others.  Many people don’t want to be defined by the work they’re doing at the moment, especially  the unemployed, underemployed, and recently retired. That can even be true of those who may have chosen an encore career.

Crafting a satisfying answer ahead of time is one solution.  I saved an interesting business card of a retired gentleman I met. Under his name the title was “Expert” then listed: Ravines Cleaned, Sermons Preached, Tigers Tamed, Wars Fought, Professional Photographer, Experienced Sailor. Now there’s a conversation starter!

I suggest we come up with some great new “meeting people” questions, queries that help us connect with people we meet.  I sometimes ask “What do you do for fun?” That broad question can help me discover their hobbies, vacations past or future, or – sometimes — that they haven’t left much room for fun in their life.  Another question that can be useful is “What are you looking forward to?”  That can prompt a glimpse into their future hopes and dreams.

What alternative question would you suggest to replace “What do you do?”  I would love to hear how you get to know someone other than asking what work they do.  Or maybe you have crafted an answer to the traditional question that you find satisfying and helpful?

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When the King of Bhutan was asked about Bhutan’s GDP, the King replied, “Why are we so obsessed with Gross Domestic Product” rather than “Gross National Happiness” (GNH)? Bhutan’s goal is not to create happiness, it is to create the conditions for happiness to occur. They have actually developed metrics to measure their GNH. One is “how do you feel about how you spend your time each day?”  Businessman Chip Conley suggests U.S. businesses and leaders should also start using different metrics. We can begin by asking ourselves and our colleagues, “What one thing can you start counting today that brings satisfaction in your life?   I would love to hear your thoughts.

note: if you would like to link to Conely’s talk email me: lois@cornerstonecoaching.net

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“Whether you know it or not, fear has developed your likes and dislikes, picked your friends, and raised your children.”  – Rhonda Britten

 I was struck by this powerful quote and although I’m not sure I agree with Ms. Britten the topic is worth exploring. Fear is a powerful emotion that keeps us ‘safe’ from stepping out into the unknown. Fear of failure can keep us stuck in unhappy circumstances.

Chellie Campbell in her book The Wealthy Spirit reminds us how brave and persistent we were as children learning to eat (not a pretty sight!) or to walk.  We didn’t worry about the mashed peas in our hair or how many times we fell down.

Fear is real and present but it doesn’t have to stop us from moving toward what we want. What if we could think of fear as the energy of excitement instead of the energy of anxiety? To anchor this concept, Campbell suggests the acronym Face it; Examine it; Accept it; Reverse it.  Would it be worth a try?

 CHALLENGE:  Think about something in your life where you are feeling stuck.  Something that you’d like to change but can’t seem to.  Take a piece of paper and write out the circumstances. Then continue to write what comes up with each word in the F.E.A.R. acronym. I would love to hear what you discover.

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You can now download free from my website “What’s Next? Five Tips to Create Your Life’s Next Chapter.”  Here’s the link: http://www.cornerstonecoaching.net  Take a look and let me know what you think of the simple one-page framework.  If you are a fan of my 90-second ezine you know I like to keep communications short and sweet.

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I was treating guests to ice cream at our local Candy Shop @Bayfield, WI today.  As we entered a girl about 6 years old with long blond curls was waiting for her cone.  She was alone without an adult. While we were discussing all the flavor options I saw the girl proudly hand the staff her money.  But she was fifteen cents short.  “Do you have fifteen cents,” the young woman at the counter asked.  When the little girl shook her head, the young woman smiled and said, “No problem” and took the change from the tip jar.   Most people would have done the same.  But it warmed my heart.

I hope you catch someone doing something nice today.  If you do, share your story here with me and others readers.

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